Allow me to set the stage. We are gathering around the table for our weekly family dinner. Davy-boy is humming a VERY old song and singing the words, “Polk-salad Annie, Gator got your granny.” No I’m not making that up.
DB: Dad, what’s a “polk salad?”
Dad: A “poke salad?”
DB: No, “poll-k”
Paul: Like the President?
DB: Wasn’t there a President name Polk?
Kid: munch, munch *affirming nod*
Dad: The song doesn’t say “polk”
Mom: Yes, it does
Kid: Who the Hell writes a song about a gator getting their granny?
Paul: Speaking of presidents, did you know Alexander Hamilton came from a poor family?
DB: Were we talking about presidents?
Paul: He was in a duel with…
Kid: *grin* Raymond Burr
Dad: Have you read that book about Burr…who wrote it?
Me: Gore Vidal
Dad: Yeah! Great book. Who wants more ribs?
General grunting and waving of hands
Kid: Yeah, Hamilton killed Burr
Paul: Nope, other way around.
Me: Uh…oh, yeah you’re right.
Kid: Raymond Burr killed Alexander Hamilton?
Dad: Yeah, right before he starred in his own TV show.
Me: His name was Aaron Burr, not Raymond Burr.
Mom: What TV show did he star in? The lawyer show.
Kid: Not Matlock
Me: Raymond Burr. You know - the fat guy with the beard.
Silence descends on the table as six people with ribs sticking out of their mouths attempt to think. Really hard.
Dad: *sigh* Perry Mason.
Everyone at the table: PERRY MASON!
And much cheering and waving of forks ensued.
Sigh. Big sigh.