Legitimate reasons for not writing in journal:
1. Have not been home much on my days off.
2. Am seriously thinking about going the LiveJournal.com route.
3. Have been SERIOUSLY bummed about missing Expo this weekend (sniff).
4. Have almost no space on my hard drive anymore and must go buy more space or a new tower and am bummed about the cost.

Sigh. How was that? Actually, not a whole lot going on. My first night off I went with San, her FB, some of her ass-master friends from work, and the Kid to play some pool and bar hop. Wasn't much fun - I can't stand San's friends from work and FB can be equally straining on my patience. The Kid never hides what he thinks and never watches what he says, so you can imagine how well that goes over. Normally, I would smooth things out, turn comments into a joke, etc. But that night I just didn't care. I let the Kid make his smart-ass remarks and made a few of my own too. Who are the asses in this scenario? A few days later, San called and asked why the Kid was acting that way. I told her that I was surprised because she has known the Kid for years and should know what he's like. She said she didn't know that he was mean and cited several things her friends (tattletales) had heard or seen him do. Nothing major, mind you but anything against FB is a crime against humanity. Now, I treat FB as God  intended: a goofy, irresponsible freak with no ambition, no reasoning abilities, and little charm. His sole likeable quality is his willingness to make an ass out of himself, probably because his brain is so fried from all the drugs he does. So, needless to say, I have not gone out with them anymore this weekend. I'm not sorry - listening to San and her friends bitch about their bosses at work is coma-inducing and trying to hold a conversation with FB is like trying to teach a child with ADD well...anything. I have better conversations with San's 6-year-old daughter!

ANYWAY. I'll stop right now before I say something not so nice! : P Thursday night we hung out at Davy-boy's and watched Scary Movie. Yuh-huck. It was pretty funny, but too gross for me. I mean I like stupid comedies as much as the next person, but ewwww... Friday I went back to Davy's because he wanted me to see Mata Hari with Greta Garbo. We love the old, old movies and no one else shares this passion except for Duds. Friday night the Kid and I went and hung out at the Half-Price Bookstore (evil, evil) and then caught a showing of the Fast and the Furious. Surprisingly good. Seriously like Vin Diesal and this movie that I have already begun to refer to as Point Break: Landlocked! Hee.

Saturday I got up bright and early and joined Paul and her hubby at Davy-boy's house to spread dirt and lay down a pallet of grass. Hot, sweaty work. Not fun, but we got it done in record time. Chris was upstairs, passed out. That's all I am going to say. Ugh. I really hate him sometimes. Okay, now THAT is all I am going to say.

The Kid invited me later on that night to join his friends. They were going to see Kiss of the Dragon and while I really wanted to go, the Kid's ex was going to be there and I just cannot stand Queen of the Harpies, or as the Mom-ster likes to call her Creature Feature (actually I thought of both names myself - something to be proud of, right?!). Anyway, I can be civil to her on the phone and stuff, but for any length of time, I do not trust myself. She totally screwed him over and while he may have forgiven, I have not forgotten. I cannot use the word forgive, because it is not my place to do so. But...still cannot stand the sight of that pasty face.

Side note: I am not a disagreeable person, as this lengthy diatribe might suggest. Yes, I do not suffer fools like I used to. And yes, I am fiercely protective of my family and anyone that hurts them is automatically shut out of my good graces (oooh). Sigh. I think I should just become a hermit. Yeah, that's the ticket. I am obviously not good at this stuff. Isn't it ironic? I wonder if being on the computer all the time has anything to do with my deteriorating social skills? Nah - I was like this before I glommed onto the internet.

Received: badass cel of movie Allen; Toya in bear suit with Yukito (aw!); cheap cels from animecel.com.
Incoming: Taro sale stuff (4 cels); another Taro order (deedlit genga); 3 CCD op cels from YJ; Spaceketeers cel from Mangaya <sparkles>
In Process of Purchasing: Van closing cel. Eeeeee.... ^_^

Anyhoo, gotta work tonight and make the fundage for a new hard drive. Sigh. Laters...

7/01/01

Okay, I seriously have to get better at this. Five entries for June? I am ashamed! It's just hard to get into a rhythm of writing when for 3 days out of the week, I basically sleep, eat, and work. Spilling my guts after working all night or as I am trying to force myself to get up and go to work is just too exhausting. But I can get better at doing this stuff on my days off. Must concentrate!

Anyhoo, on Thursday I saw Atlantis. Really good movie! Not the best Disney I've seen, but definitely not the worst either. I personally like the old-timey, cel feel to it instead of being constantly dazzled by awesome CG effects to the point of missing most of the plot of the movie <cough> Titan A.E. <cough>. I haven't seen Nadia so I can't comment on whether/how much Disney took from the anime. I have heard that other than basic character designs, there is no similarity. But I must investigate! Hee.

I did get to see Spring & Chaos and I really liked it. A fable about a famous poet's life with animals as the characters and lots of imagery and symbolism? What's not to love? ^_^  I must admit it was a little too abstract, even for me, but I think if I knew more about Miyazawi's life I would probably "get" more of it. I mean, I do understand it on a very basic emotional level, but knowing the details about his life and correlating them to specific incidences in the movie will only make it better for me. Sigh. Am such a geek sometimes.

On Friday afternoon, I drove up to Austin to visit Nay-nay and plan our trip to Maine. I must admit that at first I wasn't all gung-ho about it but now I am getting very excited! We fly into Providence and will make our way to Boston, Salem, and then up the Maine coastline. Woowoo! I love visiting new places and afterwards I can say I've driven along both coastlines of the US! Anyway, I stayed with her and her hubby in their very nice house and laughed at her "weed" garden out back. I always have such a good time when I go see her. We went and had drinks and dessert at TGIFridays and I laughed again after she got tipsy from one drink. She's such a light weight! Hee, hee!

The only bad thing about my little trip was that on the way home, I drove with the Jeep top down and my shoulders, chest, and arms got BURNED. I had the forethought to put a cap on, but I am still lobster-y. Bet ya didn't know us brown folk could burn, eh?! ; P  I had to leave Saturday afternoon because the familia was having Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's house. Yes. Turkey, stuffing, yams, pumpkin pie, the whole nine yards. Don't ask. Sometimes, we just do this stuff. It all starts off with a coupon for a turkey and Davy-boy's request for pumpkin pie...we are an odd family sometimes, but we sure do have fun together!

After that nap-inducing meal, the Kid and I went to Davy-Boy's house to watch Proof of Life but we didn't get 20 minutes into the movie when my cousin and her two kids showed up. So, we pretty much gave up on the movie, but we brought it home. Nice night. Love the family sometimes.

Now, I am online, trying to find some more lodgings for our trip. And looking at Yahoo Japan auctions. I am so bad. So very, very bad. Sigh. Am also thinking about going the Live Journal route. Yeesh. Okay, I'm outtie 'cause I am going to have to get to bed soon if I want to wake up in time for work.

6/27/01

Just looking at the list below is making me blush. Time to move on! I had thought of someone else to put on my sexy/unsexy list but for the life of me, I can't think who it is! Ugh. Finally losing my mind. Always knew it would happen. Well, what have I been doing since my last entry? Working. Every day/night, 14 hour shifts, very tired, etc. But these good times will be over soon. There have been some lay-offs and there are whispers of more to come. I do not have blinders on; I can see that our unit is dispensible. All the scrambling by upper management is just a case of too little too late says I. Of course, I may be completely wrong. But, just in case, I think I am going to bust out the resume. Sigh.

Well, good news (or maybe not, since I probably should save my money) - Taro had a massive sale and I got in on the action. Not much, just a couple of cels I had my eye on. The only thing I really and truly wanted, though, (genga from Whisper of the Heart) was looong gone by the time I got there <sniffle>. Am also pouting because I caught Curt's update on Asylum and am too poor to get a Trigun op cel or even that badass Kite cel of Obi. Grrr...

Well, more later - gotta go try and remember who the Hell I was going to add to my list...

6/19/01

Ooh, two days in a row - hope lightning doesn't strike! >_<

Well, I was thinking about my second list so much, I just had to write it down. How sad, right? Well, without further ado, let's get to Melissa's List of the Sexiest Unsexy Men. Don't worry - I am not going to say Henry Kissinger or Albert Einstein. This list is purely superficial. Hmmm, maybe a list of the 5 sexiest brains ever? Well...no, not if I feel compelled to list Bill Gates. Ewwwww...

1. John Malkovich. Yes he is old, bald, and probably batting for the other team. Don't care. Love his voice, love his acting, think he's a hunka hunka burning love. Whether he plays a dissolute viscount (Dangerous Liasons), hard-assed prisoner of war who carelessly becomes a little boy's hero (Empire of the Sun), or an aging Musketeer (Man in the Iron Mask) he makes me care about the character and I don't even realize it until I am crying at the end of the movie. I positively could not watch him as Lenny in Of Mice and Men. Too painful. See? Told you you'd need a wastebasket!
2. Tim Curry. He has bags under his bug-eyes and ALWAYS plays the bad guy. He was the world's creepiest clown in It and the world's creepiest transvestite in Rocky Horror. But he was simply brilliant in Clue and I was rolling after watching his rendition of a Wilderness Girl in Loaded Weapon. Hee! Also, Tim Curry has voiced like a million characters in cartoons, including Voltron, the Third Dimension as the wonderfully devious Lotor. He is actually number 6 on my Sexy Voice List. He was bumped down because I didn't want anyone to think I was favoring the Brits ^_^ . And I knew he would be on this one, so what the hey. Umm...he was really cute in Clue and I love his voice and I do think he is sexy. Hmpf! So there!
3. John Turturro. The Big Lebowski notwithstanding, I love John Turturro. He is not handsome, but he is a great actor, very versatile. He acts, writes, and directs. He has starred in several of my favorite movies, not least of which was Brain Donors, a brilliantly done homage to the Marx Brothers' Night at the Opera. I really can't explain this one, folks. I just think he's hot. <shrug>
4. Martin Short. Wait, wait! Hear me out. Oh, what the Hell. Can't explain this one either. But I think this crush developed after I saw The Three Amigos. I even went so far as to write a short story about the ballet world, with him in mind as the evil company director/seducer thrown in to confuse the heroine and frustrate the penniless dancer who loves her. I know, but it was a lonely childhood! ^_^
5. Josh Jackson. Well, not sure he counts since apparently thousands of giggling teenyboppers love his character on Dawson's Creek. But you must admit, the boy is not conventionally handsome. Not by a long shot. BUT. He rocks my world. I think he is the best part of that piece of crap TV show that I have been chained to for 4 years (eep). He's a solid actor with a cute accent and whether he is truly that low-key and laid back or it's just brilliant PR work, he always comes across as very likable and funny in interviews. And that just makes my toes curl.

Ohhhkay. Moving on. The Kid and I watched O Brother Where Art Thou tonight. Hilarious! We had fun trying to connect parts of the movie with The Oddessey. I know, we're geeks! But he remembered more than I did! That makes him a bigger geek...doesn't it? Please? Heh - don't care. We had a blast. George Clooney dancing a hootinanny (does that make sense?) is great! John Turturro is AWESOME and the movie was so funny, I thought one of us would hurt ourselves by laughing so hard. Definitely reccommended!

Also went out today and bought the Spring & Chaos and How to Marry a Millionaire DVDs. Can't wait to watch them - I hear S&C is really good, although the DVD is supposedly messed up. They are sending out new ones and I wanted the limited edition box, so I went ahead and bought it anyway. I love the other movie too - Marilyn Monroe was a great comic actress and I love this old fashioned story of three women taking on a high priced New York apartment to lure rich men into their marrying scheme. Cheesy, harmless fun!

Well, better crash...more later maybe.

6/18/01

Well, well, well. Look at that - I'm actually writing! Life has been going on much the same, so sorry if there are any intrepid voyuers waiting for something exciting to happen. Don't hold your breath. I did go to the bar the other night with San, her friends, and the Kid. We've been to this place frequently in the past, but it is more of San's flaky boyfriend's hangout than ours'. As a matter of fact the reason San wanted to go the other night was because she was looking for said FB (flaky boyfriend). She and FB got into a fight the other night because FB's sleazy friend Raaalph (say it like you're puking and you have the gist of him) was not getting along with San's friend Taryn. Is that not the stupidist shit you ever heard? No? You need to get out more.

ANYWAY, he never showed up, but the Kid and I had fun trouncing everyones' collective asses at Trivial Pursuit (I have waaay too much useless knowledge). I love a bar that provides cheap entertainment! All they need is Truth or Dare Jenga and I will become a permanent barfly! That reminds me...better call San and see how she is doing. Men are such asses sometimes. And don't get that hoity toity attitude about being judgemental - I have three of the best examples of "perfect men" around me. I do not make blanket statements lightly.

What else? Oh, I went to see Moulin Rouge. Yikes! Now let me just say that I am a fan of musicals. I also LOVE eye-candy (duh - I collect cels!). And I also like Nicole Kidman (I loved her in The Peacemaker...no, it was George Clooney I loved in that movie...anyway, suffice to say I am a fan). This movie reeked. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" should never, ever be made into a showtune. It's just not right. Kurt Cobain is probably spinning in his grave. And two old men singing to a muzak version of Madonna's "Like A Virgin"? Shudder. It's so awful that I want the Kid to see it, just for the shock value. Although the critics panned their voices, I thought Nicole Kidman and Ewan MacGregor did a great job. I loved his singing voice! But I guess I am in the minority. And don't get me wrong - in a twisted sort of way, I can see what the director was aiming for. But I think he overshot it by a week. I like old fashioned stories that are skewed and oppulent. I liked this director's remake of Romeo and Juliet (except for the fact that huge chunks of the play were cut  >_<  I'm a purist). But this...eeyuugh...

I have been debating on whether or not to buy a cel of Justin from The Secret of NIMH. And that got me to thinking about how I have this thing for voices. Just follow me here for a minute.  I get crushes on voices. If that makes any sense. Case in point: my top five Sexiest Voices Ever. Yes, I made a list. No I am not ashamed. The embarrassing part comes later in my top five Unsexiest Men that I Find Totally Hot. Yes, this second list may make you sick. I don't suggest you read it unless you have a strong stomach. Or a wastebasket handy. You have been warned. But onto the first, fairly harmless list:

1. Alan Rickman. All time favorite - the man's voice is GORGEOUS. Deep, resonant, and with that "proper" English accent. He isn't anything much to look at and he is actually not on my second list (so put the wastebasket down). But, damn! I often play Sense and Sensibility at night so I can fall asleep to that voice. Sigh. Same goes for Jeremy Irons. Yummy voice!
2. John Malkovich. Yes, he is also on my second list. Oh, look at that - you had pancakes for breakfast? Hee, hee.  I love, love, love the way he enounciates all his words! I love that he speaks softly! I loved him in Dangerous Liasons and wished he would de-flower me! I need help!
3. Billy Crudup. As far as looks go, Billy really doesn't do it for me, but that voice. He is the reason I watch the Mononoke dub. Emotional, soft, yet clear. I fell in love with Ashitaka in the theaters because of Billy Crudup's performance.
4. Peter Strauss. Of course, I have to admit that I had a HUGE crush on a rat. More specifically Justin from The Secret of NIMH. I saw the movie dozens of times. And after awhile it dawned on me - it was that voice. Playful, smooth, with a slight accent (Brooklyn, maybe?) that had me head over heals for...vermin? I was so dazzled, I even went to see Orca the Killer Whale because Peter Strauss was in it. Terrible movie BTW. Great vocal emotion, though. I love Justin!
5. Joshua Jackson/George Clooney (tie). I love Josh's Canadian accent! And I think he is very skilled at conveying emotion by the way he speaks - the way he pauses or drags out a word. And George...let's just say everything about Mr. Clooney is DAMN sexy and his voice is just the icing on the cake!

Okay, break time. I'll give everyone some time to recuperate from this list. Next time we'll traverse into Melissa's List of Sexy Men that Really Are...Not. Hasta!
 

6/11/01

Current mood: fucking grumpy! Sorry…I have been seeing those live journals around and am thinking of adopting at least the style since I don’t think they have “shit-faced” or “hating the world” as choices for current mood! Sorry, just being crude. And fucking grumpy. I am listening to some very soothing Caccini but so far it has not alleviated my frustration level. Grrr…

People laugh at me when I say that I can tell what kind of day I am going to have in the first few minutes after I wake up. People tell me I determine how bad my day is with attitude. Well, let me tell you I can have Mary Lou Retton sunshine pouring out of my orifaces (what IS the plural of oriface?) but it won’t change the fact that I am having a crappy day and/or everything is just going to go wrong. Period. Sigh. Been having a lot of these days lately.

My latest run-in with Yahoo Japan has not been pretty. Am attempting to enter my credit card info and the darn stuff just isn’t taking. I have consulted several help pages, translation software, and the wonderful fount of YJ wisdom, Drac from the Animanga forum. Augh! Will stop bitching now and take a loooong step back. Grrr (again)…

Some good things DID happen today…the Kid and I were watching Legends of the Fall and every time Susanna appeared one of us would mutter under our breath “cuckoo.” And mean-spirited fun was had by all. We are such asses sometimes. Heh. Later on we went to Davy-boy’s house and hung out with him, Chris, and their houseguests. Cindy went to school in the Philippines with Davy-boy and remembers the Kid and I when he was in diapers and I was a little kid tagging around after Paul and DB. Her boyfriend/fiance Josh (mmm, love the name – makes me think of Josh Jackson…oops, that’s for another entry >_<) is super cool. He is a professional mover and has come down twice from Austin to help my brother and Chris move all the big stuff into their two-story house. I liked them before I even met them because they were so willing to help Davy-boy, so they are automatically family. And what do you know? They are as crazy as the rest of us! Yea! We were drinking wine from a box and just being stupid. It was great fun and maybe I am not as pissed off as I thought I was, but give me time to get back around to that original anger! >_<

Went by the comic book store only to discover they had sold the two Justin/Secret of NIMH cels I had been coveting. Oooh, look at that – pissy mood returning. I’m off to bed, then…

6/10/01

Ugh! Have not had a moment to sit and write! Note to self: must make more time for writing. Ahhh...vacation is over and my first week back to work was HELL. If I hate the place so much, why do I stay? Oh, yeah - they pay well and I only work 3 days a week. But it still sucks! >_<

Well I never thought I'd see the day...but I think I was too old for A-Kon. Yeah, I KNOW! It's not that the con didn't have its good moments, it just didn't have enough. And I truly knew I had reached geezer-ville when I was walking around and grumbling because they changed the scheduling for an event or because I couldn't get a good seat in the video room. Next stop: geritol and the rest home. Someone please help me.

The coolest thing about A-Kon, IMO, was that we got stuff piped right into our TV in the room. The Kid and I were drunk by the time the cosplay finally aired. But that was okay. We had a good time overall. I met some of the people from the Animanga forum and they were all super nice. And I bought a couple of cels. I spent too much, drank too much, and had a hella time putting the soft top of my Jeep up and down. But I still had fun, yukking it up with the Kid and eating at a little Thai restaurant and walking around the galleria with my nose in the air. We also had a good laugh because it took awhile for me to realize that the hotel was about 10 minutes away from my alma mater - University of Texas at Dallas. Duh! Note to self: ride with the top down more often. That was the most fun! Oh, except for the last day when the wind was blowing so hard, I was sure we were gonna keel over!

I FINALLY watched some anime too (re-watching my fansub of Mimi wo Sumaseba and Castle of Cagliostro DVD don't count)! I know, don't have a heart attack! I saw the first three eps (?) of the first  Fushigi OVA. Maybe its been awhile since I have seen the TV series, but why is Miaka calling him Tamahome? I thought he was Tamahome's reincarnation or something. And at the end he is reincarnated again? Huh? Anyone care to explain this to me? I thought the ending was anti-climatic, but seeing all the celestial warriors again made me sniff. Also, when Miaka appeared  as the goddess in the book and told everyone that she wasn't going to let them down, I got goosebumps. Yes, I know. But I did. I also thought the omake was HILARIOUS! More of that please!

Updated my site a bit. The Kid has been an angel, patiently explaining stuff to me. It's not that I'm stupid, but the last computer class I took consisted of a little something called PASCAL. And if you remember that, brownie points for you!

Am off for the next three days so I have to make the most of it! But now, must sleep...ja!
 

5/31/01

Countdown! Will be headed out first thing in the AM for A-Kon. Part of me is being cynical, saying there isn't really a reason to go, there won't be any good cels, I should save my money, etc. Then the other part of me is going "Eeeeee!!!" Go figure. The Kid and I are going to try and get out of here no later than 7AM. If we haul ass we will get there between 11 and 12. Yeehaw!

Also, props to me for successfully completing my first Yahoo Japan auction from bidding to leaving feedback in kanji (whoa) just days after they sent me an email letting me know that I need a credit card and Japanese address to continue bidding. So I was a little late to the party. Story of my life...

I have not written anything about this because it has been making me too sad, but a few days ago my Tia Licha died. She was actually my great aunt, but that didn't matter. I loved her dearly, mainly because she was so crazy and fun to be around. She lived in California and would come to visit my grandma every year. I would drive her, Mom-ster, and my Aunty M to Nuevo Laredo and we would spend the day wandering around the marketplaces, drinking, and laughing. She acted like she was 20. Her death was an accident - she choked and in the effort of dislodging the food, had a heart attack. I am feeling kind of numb. Nay-nay was here when they told me and she was a sweetheart, consoling me and just talking to me. I have to admit that although I will miss her, the scare we had with Davy-boy a few years back as well as the constant concern over his health will always eclipse any other sadness I have known to date. That doesn't make this any easier, but when I remember back to that time, I am eternally grateful to have my immediate family close by. The Kid cut a lock of his hair to honor and recognize the loss. I thought that was kind of sweet. For awhile it looked like A-Kon wouldn't happen and that I would be driving my mom and Aunty M to the funeral in Santa Monica but it took awhile for news to filter in and due to some rather gruesome details I will not repeat here, the burial is probably taking place tomorrow. We don't have the money to fly out, so that's that. Maybe Mom-ster will want to take a trip later to visit her grave (a big thing with both our families that I really do not understand, but far be it from me to buck tradition and Dia de Los Muertos, etc).

It seems weird for me to be able to separate this from my everyday life, but when you really think about it, perhaps it's not so strange after all. I will go for several hours and not think about any of it. I don't feel bad about not going to her funeral. I feel bad about not spending more time with her while she was here. Mom-ster and I spent a memorable week with Tia during the summer I was eight (?). Can't recall my age, but I remember what was playing on the radio, what we ate for dinner, and how her son teased me because my mom wouldn't let me go outside and play without her supervision. So, thinking about her now makes me sad, but in a little while I will go and help Duds make dinner for himself and the Kid, I will pack for the trip, get online and check my email and cel page updates. I will probably watch some TV with the Kid, take Mom-ster to the grocery store, gab on the phone with San (who is doing better), and finally go to bed, excited about the trip. Life goes on pretty easily for me, I think, mainly because my tia's death is so far removed from the petty details that make up my life. I don't mean that to sound cold or harsh, but if she had lived here, we would be so much more involved in her life, in her death, and in her funeral arrangements (also a big deal with the families, with all Mexicans I think). Anyway, this isn't coming out very well, at least not like I had hoped it would. But wherever you are, Tia - I love you. Time to go over and help Duds make dinner...
 

5/29/01

Whew! Been busy and have not had time to write much (gomen, lo siento, sorry, etc). Well, am feeling a bit better about the Shirtless Spike. I wrote of my misery on the Animanga forum and got some nice responses. Aw! Somewhere out there a Shirtless Spike waits for me...okay I know I am being dumb!

As to the events of the past few days, have just been helping my brother move into his new house. Saturday we did the brunt of the moving, Sunday was spent cleaning Davy-boy's old house. Yuck! Paul was a cleaning demon! She was there before me and stayed long after I had conked out.

Monday Paul and I rewarded ourselves by hanging out at her place. She wanted to frost her hair and I obliged by turning chunks of her hair the colors of the blond spectrum, from strawberry to white. Sounds kinda bad, but it looks pretty cool! Then we ate chips and salsa and watched Drop Dead Gorgeous until her hubby came home. Then I beat it out of there to take a breather from the familia.

Don't get me wrong - I love my family. But this IS my vacation and I have just spent four consecutive days with them. All day. Every day. It starts to wear a little on me. And here's the kicker. Today I was running errands and when I got home the Kid called to tell me he and Paul were at Davy-boy's house eating Filipino food and unpacking. He invited me over, but for several minutes I was so...jealous? Like how dare they have fun without me. I know...doesn't make any sense. Grrr...

What else? Hmmm...been spending my A-Kon money like the thrifty little person I am. Not. I received my Outlaw Star cel (Jim). Eh. I know, I know. I really wanted it and then...eh. Guess I am taking it to A-Kon and see if anyone is interested in trading. Ooh - have picked out the cels I am going to take to A-Kon but DAMMIT! The swap/meet is taking place at the same time as a writing panel I reeely want to go to. Dammit. Oh, well. We'll see what happens.
 

5/25/01

Ppffht! Part 2 - The tongue strikes back! Okay I am being stupid... AUGH! Everyone must share my misery! So get over here and start sharing already! The elusive "Shirtless Spike" cel appeared last night on a dealer's web site (you know they found out my cable modem was down and let 'er rip). Just being paranoid. Or am I? <Melissa cocks an eyebrow>

Anyway...yes I lost the cel AGAIN. Isn't this like the fourth time or something? Nope - the 5th...forgot about that time on eBay. ARGH! But I will <choke> get over it <sob> eventually <swallowing convulsively>. Ohhhkay...moving on.

San has been in touch briefly. She sounds a little distracted, but seems okay. She is just spending some quiet time with Jerry. That's a good thing. I think.

Today I went to Davy-boy's new house to help get ready for the big move tomorrow. Niiice! He wanted his room painted royal blue so Paul and I obliged, but it looks funny with the white ceiling. We offered to paint the ceiling too but Davy-boy's partner Chris had a fit, saying the room was already too "smurfy." I say he got off lucky. Davy-boy could have opted for red and black, giving the room a "bordello" feel to it. But no one listens to me. ; ) We also put up the venitian blinds (oooh...power tools!) and did a little yard work. I am TIRED! Must wake up early in the AM for the actual move. Am both glad and faintly bothered that it's Friday night and no one called me to go out. I know I could call them but I really don't want to go anywhere tonight. But it's nice to be asked...ah, I see paranoia's still around! >_<
 

5/24/01

Ppffht! Well, I just don’t understand this. Last night I was surfing around, waiting for Nick’s update. I kept refreshing the page, checking his forum, and checking individual cel pages. Well. I see that some of the pages are beginning to be updated and so I start searching at top speed. I don’t wait for the whole thing to be loaded. I see what I want, fire off the email, and a few minutes later the actual “update” message went up. Well I did not get a single cel! Not a single one! Ugh…what is up with that?!

On a happier note, I received a nice package today that included a lovely Yue/Toya cel and 3 (count ‘em - 3) cels from Clamp Campus Detectives – a funny one of Akira with stars in his eyes and Suoh covering his face (three layers); one with Nokoru in front of flames with his arms out stretched, all “bring it on!”;  and (my personal fav) one of Nokoru looking fierce with a background of part of the Tokyo Tower! Yay! So, I am not so sad about Nick’s update anymore. Well, not as much. Okay, I am still kinda pissed because I want to know what everyones’ secrets are. Grrr…

Anyhoo, I will try and suck it up. I really don’t need to be spending the money. A-Kon is almost on top of me <delirious giggle>. Woowoo! They will be telecasting the cosplay to the hotel rooms so the Kid and I will be kicking back and mixing drinks. We have already started to create the Cosplay Drinking Game. Anyway there is a cel on Yahoo Japan I have my eye on…okay I am sad…

Talked to San today. She seems to be doing better. I don’t think her and Jerry are gonna make it, but who knows. She doesn’t trust him and I don’t know that their relationship is strong enough to survive this last blow. I really don’t know because her experience with long-term relationships is limited to one. She was with Chris for about a year and a half. That’s it. Every other guy has been strictly short-term, rarely past the casual dating stage. I don’t know how to help her, what to tell her. I think Jerry is a loser, but I have seen him treat her well and I know her daughter is attached to him. So how can I tell her he is not good enough for her? What if I’m wrong? Money isn’t everything and sure he is irresponsible and he hangs out at a bar almost every night, and spouts a bunch of hippy bullshit (no offense to the hippies out there, but hearing him say some of this stuff just sounds so…fake. I have known people who were considered “hippies” and they recycled and rode bikes and joined Greenpeace and PETA and wore sandals and were vegans, but all of them combined did not hose so much crap over me in all the time I knew them). BUT. Other than the latest issue they had, he makes her happy and I can’t ruin that.

And what if I am being biased? What if I am being bitter? I am at that stage that I would like to meet someone again. Sure it took me a long time to get over Poophead, but we were together a long time – over 5 years. For the past 2 years I have not wanted a single thing to do with men. I mean friends is all well and good but the thought of getting involved in another relationship (I am incapable of casual dating for any substantial period of time. I don’t know why) that had the potential to become as all encompassing and painful as this last one…didn’t want to think about it. At all. But now…I don’t know. A boyfriend would be nice. I don’t know that I would want to live with someone or even get married. I think that some people on this earth were not made to have a family and I am definitely one of them. I don’t want babies whose diapers need changing and a husband who needs constant nagging to take out the garbage. I am not ready for that kind of reality. I had enough of playing house with Poophead. It has its moments but once the love goes, so does the last bit of magic that exists in being an adult.

Okay, now I am starting to spout a bunch of bullshit (way to go you little hypocrite you!) so I am going to shut up and go bitch out a poor customer service rep because my cable modem is out (again). Grrrr, part 2.

5/23/01

Oh, cels - the very essence, the very bane of my exsistence. But anyhoo, just received my CCS cel from Usagi's House - sweet profile of her. It is a more complete shot of one I saw on Nick's website that I let slip by me. Yay! I also ordered a few cels from Nick's update tonight <sweatdrop>. Hope I get a couple of them - no matter how fast I am, there is always someone faster! I am going to have to find a way to occupy my time until A-Kon because I am spending waay too much time and money on the computer.

Today was my last day of work for two weeks. Hurray! I am happy! I spent my last few hours of work in a class learning how to be a better coach. Can't wait to try some of these techniques on my employees. Usually I poo-poo any infomercial-type gimmicks that give a rah-rah-motivational-attitude-reversal spiel, but we tried some of the techniques and they worked! Whoa!

Well, San made the decision to terminate her pregnancy. She told me and we both started crying. I can't honestly say I know what she is going through, but I do understand and support her decision. I don't like to get into arguements about pro-life/pro-choice because one side will never sway the other side and I think it's a waste of time. Let me believe what I want and you can believe what you want. Anyway, she was able to get the shot and at least Jerry went with her this time. She went to work afterward (stupid) but wound up calling me a few hours later asking if I could pick her up because Jerry had her truck and keys to her apartment and she couldn't find him. So I picked her up, we went and retrieved her daughter, and then went in search of Jerry. We found him at his friend's apartment. San couldn't climb the stairs so I went up and looked for him. Now I know it takes two to tango and that she bears just as much responsibility for the situation as he does. But when I saw him sitting and laughing with his friends while San was curled up in the front seat of my Jeep, I felt this insurmountable ANGER toward him, toward any and all men who don't know what it's like for us in such a situation. Anyway, I wound up leaving her and her daughter with him because that's what she wanted. I nearly cried again as I said goodbye to them. Can't even imagine how she's feeling right now...

5/20/01

Well it's been an eventful weekend to say the least. San's ex came into town to meet their daughter for the first time. He had left her when she was about 5 months pregnant. Ass. But now he's "mature" or something and wants to be part of her life. Actually, it's because San is finally demanding child support so he's fighting for partial custody. It's so sad. Her daughter seems to be taking it really well and I think that is because San has never bad-mouthed him and always stuck up for him, etc. I don't think I could be such a big person.

Anyway...I went with them for the initial meeting and stuff - just being a supportive friend. After a few hours we left her daughter so she could bond with her new family (San's ex is married with 2 kids now) and San and I left. Poor San - she really didn't want to leave her daughter, but I could see where being close to the ex was starting to get waaay under her skin. So we took off. And that's when she dropped the bombshell(s). She and her current boyfriend Jerry (freak, but harmless) had broken up earlier that day due to a rumor that Jerry was fooling around AND she had just taken a pregnancy test and it came out positive. All in one day her life has been thrown completely upside down. So we talked awhile and I urged her to get to the bottom of the rumors, go to the doctor, and tell Jerry. I mainly just listened, trying to put myself in her position. I have had a couple of scares in the past, but never under such extreme circumstances.

Later on I called her and she said that she and Jerry had made up. He had left work to go pound on her door and apologize for 20 minutes.  It turned out to be a big misunderstanding (I hope) and they eventually worked thing out. Later that night Jerry called to invite her to a party and tell her that he was suspended from work (he is a bartender) for leaving in the middle of the shift and cursing at a fellow employee (the instigator of the rumors). So San asked me to go with her to the party.  I went, although I am sooo over parties at this junction in my life. Well. Kinda. We were there for like an hour when San gave me the sign and I suddenly developed a great weariness and professed that I wanted to go home. She and Jerry walked me to my Jeep and I left.

The next morning San came by the house to report. Right after I left, she blurted the whole thing out to him. He was shocked, but eventually supportive. He has to go to work tomorrow, but I told her I would go with her to the doctor. She is undecided about the whole thing, but Jerry says he will support her no matter what. She wants another child, but right now she is struggling to make ends meet with just her and her daughter. So, we'll see. I know this decision can't be easy for her.

I know this all sounds like the Young and the Restless, but I made a decision to be completely honest in these journals and everyone I asked is okay with their lives going online (although almost everyone asked to have pseudo-names used). ^_^  And San wants a percentage if I ever sell her story!

As far as my life goes, it's been pretty uneventful. I work later on today. Ick. But three more days and I am free for two weeks! Let's hear it for vacation time! Yahoo! More on the dramatic lives of my friends (and the rather humdrum events of mine) later...

5/18/01

Ah...another day off and I am loving it! Everyone tells me I have it made with a three-day work week but trying to work 40 hours in that span of time is exhausting. It makes me really appreciate my other days off. It also makes me want to sleep on my days off. A whole bunch. Mmmm...sleep. Anyway. I actually got out of the house yesterday and went shopping with Paul. We were at Bath & Body Works for a looong time. I contend that B&B is evil and must be stopped. Flowering Herb lotions and Joyful Garden fragrances constituted most of my credit card bills my first year of college. Damn them.

Last night the Kid and I had a few drinks and watched Miss Congeniality and re-watched My Neighbors the Yamadas. I love that movie! If you have the means to get a hold of it on Region 2 DVD, I highly reccommend it!

Today after a bit of haraunging with the guy at the post office who didn't want to give me my packages (ass monkey) I got some nice anime goodies from Asylum Anime and Anime Chaos. My Toya cel (from CCS) is humongous! I have never seen such a big cel before! At least not on one sheet of plastic. Backgrounds, yes. And I have seen cels painted on two sheets and stapled together. But this...the mind reels. In a good way. Also got my Yue cel (profile, in the shadows). I am not actually a huge Yue fan...he is too monochrome for my tastes. But the play of light and shadow on him in this scene rocks! Also got a profile cel of Rouge from Princess Rouge. Hee!

5/16/01

Well this is an attempt to restart my sporadic journal entries. Not much to report of late. Just working. Alot. Web page is finally up <snugs to the Kid for making it possible>. I am going to add my shitajiki gallery soon, but I have so many that scanning is going to take FOREVER. So, I'll procrastinate (as usual). I want to add text to my cel pictures as well, you know - explain a bit about them, etc. Eventually I will also put up an introduction for those who read about my sad little life, a bit of background about the people I always talk about. But...later. I am all tuckered out and I keep losing focus 'cause the Kid is watching Stir of Echoes. Mmmm...Kevin Bacon. Later.